and i thought you might still care..

when i drink 

i say things i dont wanna say

i do things i dont wanna do

i talk mean to you

but if i think

i just might get something out of this.

my parents taught me to learn when i miss

just do your best

its the only way to keep the last bit of sanity

maybe i dont have to be good

but i can try to be.

at least a little better than ive been so far

but when i drink

i hear things that arent really there

i feel things when i shouldnt really care

have fist fights with the air

but if i think about someone besides myself

i lived through the silver and the bell

with something to tell

just do your best.

its the only way to keep that last bit of sanity

maybe i dont have to be good but i can try to be

at least a little better than ive been so far.

This is what you think you know best...

i havent dabbled with blogging in a while..

lets just reccap where im in life.

soo im now 19..

and i now live in sarasota florida where ive encountered more trouble than i could have ever imagined.

the college life really is willlddd.even if its art school.

ha oh and im lyke totally blonde.haha

ive gotten to experience what scumbags florida has to offer..

ive almost got arrested..twice.

ive lost multiple pairs of shoes and my ipod being a drunky mess..lol.

i thought i rekindled the most meaningful friendship i ever had.but no ..wronggg again..

this whole experience is too overwhelming.i feel like a big baby just complaining all the time about it.

im too far fromm home.ive met amazing people,and have never made so many female friends..like...i just dont think i could ever call this place home,soo once again..when things get to difficult i do what i do best..move and start over...next stop...philly,for the art institute..should be goodtimes,i know a handful of people in the area..and its still close enough to nyc...

my smiles are becoming artificial.

i just want to be happy again.like really happyyy..

blahh..i should be paying attention to class...

ill probably be blogging more often noww.

its the same four walls that have always been

just sitting in my room that i havent lived in

and i feel so completely changed

but everything around me is exactly the same,

im not the girl that i was befor

feel like im lying each time i walk through the door

sleeping in my own bed feels like a sin

its hard to sink back into my life again

the walls are empty

floors are messy like i left them

but now it seems im going in a different direction

i cant believe im a stranger in my own room

feel like nothing is mine

and it all belongs to you..